


Shelter From the Storm

by bioticbootyshaker



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Cerberus - Freeform, M/M, Post-Game, Sanctuary, Slash, post-ME3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:31:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bioticbootyshaker/pseuds/bioticbootyshaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a year helping rebuild London, and living with Kaidan, James is sent out on a mission to Sanctuary to clear out a Cerberus cell that has set up base there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shelter From the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Shelter From the Storm  
>  **Pairing:** James/Kaidan (Venko)  
>  **Summary:** After a year helping rebuild London, and living with Kaidan, James is sent out on a mission to Sanctuary to clear out a Cerberus cell that has set up base there.  
>  **Warnings:** Nudity, sexual content  
>  **Disclaimer:** Mass Effect and all related characters (c) Bioware
> 
> Written in thanks to my 300 (and counting!) followers on tumblr. <3

Chapter One: Storm Brewing

“Babe, you awake?”

There was a slight catch in Kaidan’s breath from the other side of the bed. Silence for a long moment, and then a sleepy mumble, “I am now.”

James spooned himself against Kaidan’s back, pressing a kiss to his freckled shoulder, pale against the darkness. James Vega was many things -- and not all of them were particularly _good_ things -- but one thing he had never been was a cuddler. Especially not because of one bad dream and one restless night. Still, Kaidan was warm and solid, and his skin twitched under his mouth. He was a nice distraction, if not a comfort. 

“Nightmare,” James mumbled against Kaidan’s shoulder. “Can’t sleep.”

“And you decided I shouldn’t be allowed to sleep because...?”

“Moral support,” James said, giving another moist kiss to Kaidan’s shoulder. “That’s how it works in the Alliance, right?”

“This isn’t the Alliance, this is our bedroom,” Kaidan said. He yawned, and reached out for the clock. “It’s our bedroom at... three in the morning. Jesus.”

Kaidan sighed and rolled onto his back. James could barely see his face, but he could see enough to know he wasn’t happy. Well, he could join the club; James didn’t exactly want to be awake at three in the morning. There were only two reasons he ever woke up so early -- emergencies and sex, which was in and of itself, an emergency. Since Kaidan was clothed below the waist and not screaming his name, there really wasn’t a good reason to be awake.

“What was it?” Kaidan asked. His voice was softer than his sigh had been. He reached up and cupped James’ face, rubbing his thumb in easing circles over his cheekbone. 

Already, the nightmare seemed unimportant, losing its shape and power. Shadows clung to the edges of his thoughts, but they didn’t seem to have the claws they’d possessed when James had first bolted awake, sweating and trembling. All he could remember were husks crawling their way towards him, hideous and too-human faces turned up towards the barrel of his gun -- and something else, too, something worse. Shepard had been there. James couldn’t remember what he’d been doing or if he’d spoken, but a shiver crawled up his spine all the same.

A year after burying the man, and his ghost was still hanging around.

“Nothin’,” James mumbled. “Go back to sleep. ‘M’sorry. Shouldn’t have woken you up.”

“Hey,” Kaidan whispered, thumb still brushing James’ cheekbone, “That’s okay.”

James’ hand rested on Kaidan’s stomach. His fingers traced the thick line of hair below his navel, his lips splitting with a grin. “Since you’re up,” James purred.

“Go to sleep,” Kaidan said. He leaned his head up and kissed James’ mouth. Well, he kissed his teeth, anyway. Kaidan was tired enough to let that be good enough.

****

A year.

It could feel like an eternity, or it could feel like no time at all. For James, it felt like a year. For Kaidan, well, James guessed it felt a little closer to a lifetime. Things had changed, as things often did, and Kaidan found himself retired from the Alliance. He was grayer at the temples, a little thicker in the middle, and his face held deeper lines than they had twelve months -- or even six months -- earlier. 

Sometimes, when they were tired enough and had just enough whiskey in their bellies, they talked about Shepard. Mostly they laughed, but sometimes Kaidan cried and James rubbed the back of Kaidan’s neck and waited quietly while he composed himself. It was a hell of a thing watching a strong guy like Alenko fall apart, especially when you were in love with him, but James didn’t know what else he could do but keep his hand tight on the nape of his neck and kiss the freckles behind his ear. 

As for James, the year had been filled with same shit, different day. He did what he was told, kept his nose relatively clean, and went to the places he was supposed to go. A few months after returning to Earth, some punk had taken a shot at him while his team had been clearing the rubble out in West London. Nothing serious, but James had spent a couple days in bed with his leg bandaged. Kaidan had been angry, angry enough to threaten to chase the kid down that had injured him and break his neck. James had liked that fire, but he had settled for telling Kaidan to settle down.

That was life after all. Well, it was life when you were in the Alliance, anyway. Even clearing out rubble and helping rebuild had its little surprises and hidden dangers. James enjoyed it, loved the rush of adrenaline, the old familiar feelings of his blood pumping, his stomach tightening, his breath coming fast and hard.

“Gettin’ a little soft, Vanilla,” James murmured. He stood behind Kaidan in the bathroom mirror, wrapping his arms around his waist. A little thicker, yeah, a little softer; but goddamn James couldn’t get enough of him, loved every inch of him. 

“Think you might like me with washboard abs?” Kaidan asked. He smiled and leaned his head back on James’ shoulder. “Can’t really promise you that’s gonna happen, James.”

_Hell baby_ , James thought, _I love you any way I can get you_. What he said was, “Nah. Never did like my guys muscular, y’know. Gotta be the... what’dya call it? The Alpha male.”

Kaidan laughed. That was good. He looked damn good when he laughed, damn good when he let himself be okay. “You’ve got this relationship stuff figured out, huh?”

“Pretty much,” James said, “Think it might be time for me to write a book.”

He’d told Shepard he never wanted to get comfortable, to sit things out, to get thick and soft in the middle. And, for the most part, James still felt the same way. But he could imagine it was different for Kaidan, different for an old soldier, different for a man who had stood against enough horrors for three or four lifetimes and just wanted a little peace. Different for a man who had, most important of all, lost his best friend. 

So James watched him get softer, and a little thicker, and a little grayer, and he loved him the same as he always had. James might’ve had the scars and the bruises, but he was no old soldier, and he loved like a kid -- a little helplessly and entirely hopelessly. And when he gave his heart to Kaidan, it was for keeps. Both of them knew it, though neither of them said it. 

“Gotta get up early,” James said, sitting on the edge of their bed. He was smoking, a bad habit he’d picked up recently. Hell, it was better than going crazy. Wouldn’t be worth shit in a few years if he didn’t quit soon, though, cigarettes didn’t come highly recommended from Alliance brass for ensuring a long military career. “Need to go see Hackett and see where we’re being shipped off to next. Fuck I hate this. Hate just... wasting away here. Running thugs out of rubble doesn’t have the excitement I’m used to.”

Kaidan’s nails traced up his back, absently. James looked over his shoulder and saw Kaidan with his book open on his lap, his reading glasses a little low on his nose. James had kidded him about needing glasses, had ribbed that soon they’d have to go shopping for a cane, but he couldn’t deny he looked damn cute in them. 

“Hey, babe, I’m not talkin’ to myself here.”

“Mm. I heard you. Get up early. Hackett. Something about wasting away.”

James grinned, reaching over and plucking Kaidan’s glasses off of his nose, holding them out of his reach. “You gonna apologize for being an ass, _Major Spectre_ , sir?”

“ _Former_ Major Spectre,” Kaidan corrected. He laughed and took a swipe for his glasses, grunting when he missed. “Come on,” he said, climbing over the bed and reaching around James’ wide shoulders. “Stop being a kid.”

“‘Ey, pay the toll, amante,” James chuckled, “An’ it’s all yours.”

The toll, as James referred to it, was one kiss. Just one, as soft or hard or deep or wet as Kaidan wanted it. 

Kaidan kissed him, rough, with his teeth catching on James’ lower lip. James groaned into his mouth, his free hand slipping to the small of Kaidan’s back. He held up the glasses and Kaidan took them, setting them on the nightstand, going back in for another kiss. 

“Toll isn’t that expensive,” James said with a grin. Kaidan kissed his teeth and his grin fell. James let Kaidan climb on top of him, thighs tight around his hips, arms draped loosely over his shoulder. They kissed slow and deep and James wasn’t sure if a second passed or an hour, but when they were through kissing, Kaidan pushed him back. 

Everything Kaidan did was so rushed, so uncoordinated. James had long since stopped expecting precision and grace from the Major. He didn’t need it, and he didn’t want it. What he wanted was Kaidan’s breath against his ear when he moved inside and his fingers trembled on the backs of James’ thighs. What he wanted, with some kind of ache that pulsed in his bones, was Kaidan’s dark eyes open and intent on his face, his lips slick with spit and parted over his teeth, his head rocked back and his throat exposed. 

When a soldier showed you his throat, he either expected a knife of a kiss.

James always kissed him.

“Tired of bein’ here,” James whispered. The sweat hadn’t even cooled on their skin, their hearts hadn’t even stopped racing, their breath hadn’t stopped trembling. Seemed as good a time as any to bring a serious subject up. “Tired of... the same old crap.”

“Hey, that’s nice,” Kaidan said, “Just what I like to hear after sex.”

“C’mon, you know... I don’t mean that. I don’t mean you. I mean... I’m tired of being stuck _here_. I’m tired of clearing up rubble and chasing off punks and doing requisitions.”

“Everyone’s doing what they can,” Kaidan said. He seemed... distant, hesitant. His finger circled James’ nipple slowly, his eyes stayed turned down where James couldn’t read them. He waited; it was the best thing to do when Kaidan was biting his tongue and swallowing down things he thought were best left unsaid. He’d get to it, work it out like a bad tooth eventually.

A few minutes later, Kaidan whispered, “You wanna be back out there on the front lines, huh? Fighting... whatever. Whoever.”

“Yeah,” James said, with no hesitation, “I do.”

He’d been born for it, bred for it. He’d survived on it for so long he wasn’t sure there was anything else he could do. It didn’t matter where he was or what he was told to do, so long as he was out in the thick of it, ducking down behind cover, ejecting thermal clips, sustaining himself on adrenaline and rubbing medi-gel into wounds that would never quite heal right.

It was just in James’ blood, that was all. He didn’t think it was so strange. Shepard had been the same way. For all of his diplomacy and speeches and gathering everyone together to fight the good fight, Shepard had been a _soldier_. He’d wanted to be out on the battlefield with blood in his mouth and his finger over the trigger, because it was as natural as breathing.

Like finding home again. 

Kaidan was quiet for a long time. Or maybe it was only a few minutes. James wasn’t the best judge of time after sex. His mind drifted and his eyes fluttered and he was pretty sure he was on the edge of sleep when Kaidan said something.

“Huh?”

“I said after everything that happened, I thought you’d be happy to have some peace and quiet for a while. I thought maybe you’d had enough.” There, he turned his face up, and James looked down into his eyes. He could see everything plain as day. Kaidan had always been an open book with his heart pinned to his sleeve; there was no hiding he was worried, scared, maybe a little upset with James for wanting to go back into it all over again. “I’m tired of losing people,” Kaidan said, “I really don’t... Think I could handle losing you, James.”

“No one said you were gonna lose me. I’m not planning on dyin’ anytime soon, babe. Just because you---” He stopped himself. He didn’t have Kaidan’s penchant for biting his tongue, but he knew when something was best kept to himself. James pressed his lips against Kaidan’s hair, wrapping his arm a little snugger around his shoulders. “Nevermind,” he said, “Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”

And in the end it didn’t matter that he had chosen not to say what he’d been thinking. James knew that _Kaidan_ knew what had been on his mind by the stiffness of his body in his arms. _Just because you wanna hang around and do nothing and waste your life doesn’t mean I’m gonna do the same_ , was what had stuck like poison on James’ tongue. He didn’t mean it, at least not really, but if Kaidan expected him to give up his career and lock his gun up and hand over his blues, he was going to be sorely mistaken. 

It wasn’t fair of Kaidan to ask it of him, and it wasn’t fair of James to make him feel like less of a person for sitting on the sidelines after the War. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Major Spectre Kaidan Alenko was only human, and there was only so much pain and loss and grief a man could stand before it broke him. 

James didn’t want him to break.

But he wasn’t content to sit on the sidelines. 

“Yeah, let’s... Let’s just get some sleep,” Kaidan whispered. His finger still circled Vega’s nipple, dull nail scratching against him softly. James let his lips and nose sink a little deeper into Kaidan’s hair. He didn’t say anything.

There wasn’t really much to say. 

 

****

“Lieutenant.”

James was sweating in his Alliance blues, and he was pretty sure if he didn’t get a drink of water and take a seat soon he was going to pass out. Even still, he managed to keep his back stiff and straight, and his hand raised in a salute. 

“Take it easy, Vega,” Hackett said. He chuckled when James remained at attention, sweating bullets and breathing a little too hard. “At ease, soldier,” Hackett said, “Sit your ass down.”

James nodded and took a seat, smiling a little sheepishly as Hackett passed him glass of water. He muttered his thanks and knocked the water back, cold and crisp and the best thing he’d ever tasted. 

“You’ve been making a hell of a fuss out with Alpha Squad, so I heard,” Hackett said. He settled back in his seat, stopping just long enough to light a cigarette and blow the smoke from his nostrils. James raised his brow at that, but remained silent. To say things had been stressful was an understatement, so James couldn’t really fault Hackett for his new bad habit. “According to Commander Bennett you’ve been talking non-stop about, what was the phrasing you used, ‘get the fuck out of Dodge’?”

“Uh, well,” James stammered. He could feel his face heating up. “Maybe not those exact words, sir, but, yeah.”

Hackett looked at him through the haze of smoke swirling around his face. His eyes were hard, even when they were trying to be soft. James guessed that was what came after decades with the Alliance, or maybe just enough life under your belt to start weighing you down. 

“Got something for you I think you might like,” Hackett said. He slid the dossier across the desk and tapped his fingers against the metal while he waited for James to scan the contents.

“Sanctuary,” James whispered. He flicked his eyes up to Hackett, sure he looked as incredulous as he sounded. “Didn’t we clear that out?”

“Apparently a Cerberus cell has set up base there. Lawson’s dead, ditto for the Illusive Man, but Cerberus is a lot more than just a group of fanatics and rhetoric about the human spirit. It’s damn resilient. It’s not like killing the head to have the body die. Just keeps on going and going, and I’ve got enough on my plate.”

James could tell. Hackett looked like he hadn’t slept well in about a decade. The bags under his eyes were dark, the lines on his face much harsher than James remembered. He was an old soldier, one of the oldest, and he was looking every bit of his age. Feeling every bit of it, too, judging from the grunt he made when he shifted position. 

Hackett flicked an ash onto the desk, missing the ashtray by a mile. “Putting together a team to send in,” Hackett said, “Nothing fancy, Lieutenant. Simple infiltration and extermination. No prisoners, no politics, no sweet-talking. You go in and shoot everything that moves, and you leave.”

Those hard eyes were even harder, peering through the smoke, peering somewhere deeper than James was comfortable with Hackett seeing. “Think you can handle that?” Hackett asked.

“Yes, sir,” James blurted. He was too eager and he knew it, but James couldn’t be bothered to care. He could already feel the gun in his hands, hear the thermal clips clattering against the ground, taste blood and smell the astringent burn of medi-gel. He could almost see the scars on his knuckles. James’ heart picked up speed; it’d been too long.

“You’ll meet with Commander Davis here tomorrow,” Hackett said. “0700 hours. Want to see you bright-eyed and bushy tailed, Lieutenant.”

“Aye aye, sir,” James said.

Hackett smiled when James saluted. “Dismissed,” he said, laughing softly. “Get the hell ou of here, Vega.”

****

“Sanctuary,” Kaidan said.

“Yeah,” James whispered. 

He wanted to say something else. Something more, but James wasn’t sure how to word it, how to take his heart and wear it on his sleeve the way Kaidan did. He settled for brushing his nose against a tight cluster of freckles on Kaidan’s shoulder. Fingers curled against his scalp, gently, so James guessed it was okay. As okay as it was ever going to be.

“When?” Kaidan asked.

“Dunno. Gonna meet the Commander tomorrow. Not sure when we’re getting sent out.” James bit his bottom lip before murmuring, “Soon.”

“Not gonna be happy until you’re dead, are you?” Kaidan asked. 

“Hey, come on---”

“It’s fine,” Kaidan interrupted. He was smiling when he turned his face up, which was better than James had hoped for. It was a sad smile, but James liked to take what he could get. 

They hadn’t talked all day, just... existed together comfortably. The only words they had passed had been when James had first gotten home and told Kaidan what Hackett had said to him. For the rest of the evening Kaidan had been quiet, waiting for the right moment to speak, or for the moment when he could no longer hold his tongue.

James was a little curious why Kaidan always decided to talk when they were in bed and on the edge of sleep. The Major -- _former Major_ \-- had a bit of a mean streak in him, or else he just had the absolute worst timing. 

“Guess I want you to be happy,” Kaidan said, “Even if you have to be happy out there. Where I can’t take care of you.”

“Sure you can” James whispered. He kissed the end of Kaidan’s nose and let his hand   
settle on the curve of Kaidan’s spine. “C’mon, you do a lot more for me than you even realize, Vanilla. You’re like... I don’t know. Superglue. I’m a fucking mess, but you keep me together.”

“Hey, there’s something for my tombstone. ‘Kaidan Alenko: James Vega’s superglue.”

“Vega tested, Vega approved,” James said. They laughed together and it was okay. They kissed and it was better. They turned the lights out and got closer, and it was perfect.

James pretended he couldn’t hear Kaidan crying.

Easier that way.


End file.
